Finding someone compatible isn't as hard as it might seem. There are about twelve major life areas to consider when you think about how compatible you are together.
There are four that top my list: life routines, feelings, independence,and chores. All are attainable, but not always easy.
1. Life routines cover how you spend your time each day and how it differs from the way s/he spend theirs. If you both enjoy doing most things together - shopping, eating out, seeing movies you both like, and reading the same types of books, you're ahead of a lot of people who think they found someone compatible because they like the package but haven't really examined what they need instead of what they want.
Are your sleeping patterns and arrangements similar or - is s/he an early riser, full of pep and you aren't, you enjoy sleeping in and starting your day slow, quiet, a cup of coffee before you want to even get to 'good morning.'
If you love yourself first - take care of your own needs and then begin work on caring for each other - you're on the right path.
2. Emotions, those feelings we live with, are always there - your feelings and how you share them with each other will either bring you closer together or open a chasm - are you free to express how you feel, what you're thinking and why? This is huge when you're trying to find someone compatible to live with long-term.
Often heard is the lament, 'he never hears a word I say' or 'she doesn't pay any attention, she just does her own thing.' There's this thing about talking, hearing, and listening.
Talking to each other - rather than, talking at each other; hearing the words; seeing the looks, and paying attention with respect; listening with an open mind and heart, and then working together to accomplish great things together - that's a compatible relationship.
3. A major feature of a happy relationship is independence. Visiting and spending time with family and friends separately is vital to happiness. Working on your hobbies or doing what ever you love to do 'on your time' means you are both growing and expanding, not stagnating and becoming boring.
There's those feelings again - if you are comfortable in your own skin, know who you are as an individual while living the lifestyle you choose without fear or criticism - you've struck gold!
4. Chores - an awkward word - still and all, enormous! Who does all the things around your place? You? Him? If you want the love-nest to run smoothly, take time to talk, hear, and listen on this one especially. Couples usually don't take time to even consider who's on first, or who's on second and that's the cause of one of the biggest problems as we strive to coexist peaceably.
Remember, your relationship isn't a play - it's your life in progress. Begin at the beginning to establish it the way you want it to be. There's nothing worse than being miserable when a little planning could create bliss.
Darlene Peltz -is a relationship coach and adviser in training with a focus on how relationships work or don't, how they can be helped to work better...she has extensive knowledge about life, in general. For more information about everything relationships visit her blog http://www.darlenepeltz.com/
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