How to Develop a Good Relationship With Your Lover

For you are like many people, your romantic relationships will end up being one of the most important things in your life. Working to develop and grow that relationship is necessary if you want it to last. Being honest about what you want and whether or not you are receiving it is key. So is not forgetting who you are even in the midst of a hot, torrid love affair. Making a commitment to growing the friendship between you and your partner is helpful as well. Friendships help cement relationships even when romantic feelings temporarily (hopefully) languish.

a. Be honest about what you want: In order to develop a good relationship with your lover, it is important that you are honest about what you want. Settling won't help anyone, you or him (or her). Instead, first determine in your own heart what you want so that you will be able to communicate to your partner exactly what this is. You will need to be honest with yourself before you can with him or her.

b. Be honest when you are (or aren't) getting what you want: Now, I'm not suggesting that you nag your partner to death but it is important that you tell him or her when you are not getting what you want or need. This sure beats cheating, because you are unsatisfied but have yet to admit that to your partner. Equally important is to let him or her know when you are indeed satisfied. All of us like to know when we are appreciated and getting it right. It cuts both ways. It is important to discuss both the good and the bad.

c. Don't forget who you are: It can be easy for people, both men and women to lose themselves in a relationship, especially in the beginning when emotions are running high and the relationship is brand new.

d. Make a commitment to the friendship not just the relationship: Often times, the best relationships are those built on friendships. Get to know your partner as a friend and cultivate that friendship. This will help you two better withstand tough times.

Making a commitment to the friendship and not just the relationship is important. Relationships that have a strong underlying friendship have a better chance of surviving. Not forgetting who you are and not getting lost in the relationship is important as well. Being honest about what you want and whether or not you are receiving it can be helpful as well. If you consider all of the aforementioned, you have a fighting chance of working things out with your partner and developing a relationship that is lasting and loving.

Francesca runs a popular love quotes website where you can find 1,000's of love quotes and falling in love quotes to help heal a broken heart.

Read More

The Benefits of Being Single on Valentine's Day

For many people, Valentine's Day, is the day when you may feel sad, depressed, or alone if you are single. However, with so many failed relationships, nasty break-ups, or unhealthy unions, some singles are seeing this time as a time to embrace their solitude. Ann Landers once said, "It is better to be alone, than wishing you were". As a single person, why not use this time to focus on the benefits of being single rather than regretting a past you cannot change.

Here are some perks you may recognize:

Freedom. As a single person, you can do what you want, when you want. You are not accountable to anyone.
You don't have to compromise or negotiate.
You have the time and energy to focus on other areas of your life like your career, health, friendships or other self-improvement goals.
No in-laws to deal with.
Your space is your space. You can decorate it any way you like.
You can choose to be neat or messy without worrying about comments from your partner.
There are no emotionally toxic, co-dependent needs to deal with
Your money is your money.
You can go out with friends, drink and not worry about coming home late.
You don't need to stress about what your partner's friends think about you and if you fit in.
You don't have to wonder if you are settling.
Your time is your own.
You don't have to worry about breaking up with your partner.
You can create and visualize the details of what your future relationship should be.
Use this time wisely. Make a list of the things that are positive in your life today and work towards reducing your negative self-talk and eliminating the destructive patterns you tend to repeat in your relationships.

If you mistakenly buy into the myth that you need a partner to be happy, being single can be lonely at times. If, however, you look on this time as an opportunity to work on yourself, appreciate what you already have and make a plan to be an even better you; just imagine the kind of partner you will be attracting into your life, thanks, in part, to be single on Valentine's day.

I say again, if you mistakenly buy into the myth that you need a partner to be happy, being single can be lonely at times. If, however, you look on this time as an opportunity to work on yourself, appreciate what you already have and make a plan to be an even better you; just imagine the kind of partner you will be attracting into your life, thanks, in part, to be single on Valentine's day.

Rhonda Rabow, M.A.

Author's Bio Rhonda Rabow is an author and a psychotherapist living in Montreal, Quebec Canada. She has over 25 years experience counseling individuals, couples and families facing a variety of life challenges; from parenting, grief, depression, and self-esteem issues, to conflict resolution and marriage counseling. Her approach is empowerment and she accomplishes this by helping her clients find solutions to their problems and teaching them the skills and tools they need to feel back in control of their lives. She has also recently published an e-book called, "Discover the 3 secrets to living happily ever after".

http://www.helphelpmerhonda.ca/
http://www.rhondarabow.com/

Read More

Why Does He Say He Loves Me If He Does Not Feel That Way?

If you are a woman with any kind of relationship experience behind you, then I am sure that you have had the experience of having a guy say that he loves you and then go and do things that make it seem pretty obvious that he does not feel that way. While this is a pretty common occurrence, it still may make you wonder, why do guys do that? Is it all just a game to them or is there something that you need to know?

Love is one of those words that, unfortunately, it gets thrown around way too casually and because of that... it tends to lose its true meaning to many people. While everyone is going to have their own exact definitions of what the word means, it tends to have universal applications. So, why is it that a guy will say that he loves you and then do things that seem to demonstrate otherwise?

Here are 3 possibilities for why men say they love a woman when it sure does not seem that way:

1) He wants to feel that way, but he just does not.

Here's the truth about some guys who drop the L word too casually and then do things that make you wonder why they would go and say that - they WANT to feel that way. Look, a lot of guys are not total jerks, they do want to feel that way, however, they just don't Instead of being honest about it, they would rather say that they do with the hopes that that will somehow placate the situation so that they do not have to talk about it any further.

2) It's just a line to him, and he hopes you buy it.

This is also another really common reason and it is one that you have to be on the lookout for. There are some guys that will use the word as nothing more than just a line to get what they want. And if you buy it, then you will end up paying the price for it.

3) He does not know how to show it.

This is a common reason that quite often gets misread by a woman. He might really love you and he might not be playing any games at all... yet he does not know how to show it. We get taught how to show love as we grow up, and many people never really get that lesson and so when they grow up... they don't know how to show their affection and true feelings.

Does he really love you back or is he just playing games with you?

Get Your FREE Dating Guide for Women here: Dating Tips for Women

Copyright (c) 2011 Alexandra Scott. All Rights Reserved.

Read More

Use The Magic of Making Up to Get Your Ex Back

If you want to get your ex back for good, you need to use a good strategy that really works. Learn this powerful magic formula that can make a person who hates you, literally turn around and start loving you. This technique uses a quirk in human behavior, which you can use to your advantage.

One of the basic tendencies of human beings is to be attracted by something that does not belong to them. Since the dawn of humanity, the "forbidden fruit" has held a strong appeal over people's minds. The forbidden fruit can be anything that attracts your attention, but is always out of your reach. The harder it is to get it, the greater your desire to somehow possess it.

Whether we realize it or not, all of us have probably experienced this feeling at some point of time in our lives. When we see an attractive thing that is beyond our reach, we secretly start coveting it. This particular behavioral trait is present in all human beings and transcends race, sex, culture, religious affiliation, economic status or educational background.

Now you might be wondering what this has got to do with getting your ex back. It indeed has a lot to do with relationships. In fact, this human trait gives you an opportunity to have a powerful influence over your ex. When you know how to use it effectively, you can literally make your ex make a u-turn in their attitude towards you.

First of all, you need to understand that as long as you are "available" to your ex, they would not tend to bother much about you. But if you get out of their reach and become the "forbidden fruit" in their life, then they will suddenly begin to want you desperately.

So, if your ex has been turning the cold shoulder and you have been begging, calling and pleading with them to come back, you have to stop your pathetic behavior right now. As long as you are available to your ex, they will take you for granted. Only when you get out of their reach and become the forbidden fruit, they will start changing their attitude towards you for the better.

When you withdraw yourself from them, you will give them a taste of what life is like, without you. As long as you keep running behind them, you will never give them an opportunity to think about losing you. But now, for the first time ever, it would occur to them that you might be slipping away through their fingers. In all probability, they would never want that to happen.

When you are eventually out of their reach, you would have become the forbidden fruit to them, and they will start desiring you more than ever before. They will begin to see you in a new light. They will want you in their life desperately.

You have the power within you to make this happen. But you need to make a conscious decision to take action. Now that you know the magic formula to get your ex back, you need to use it wisely to turn the situation around. However, there are a few specific steps that you need to follow to implement this principle.

Visit the Magic of Making Up site that teaches you step by step, how to become the forbidden fruit to get your ex back.

Read More

Unhappy Relationship - Things You Can Do

Feeling that you are stuck in an unhappy relationship can take a great toll on a person. And the truth is that many couples experience this situation everyday and don't know what to do about it. There can be many causes for an unhappy relationship and many solutions as well.

There are some things you can do to turn the situation around if you are willing to do them. Remember, if you do nothing, then things will only stay the same or get worse. So deciding to do something to change the situation is the best step to take.

First Thing to Do

If you are unhappy in your relationship, the first thing to do is to figure out the cause of your unhappiness. Is it something your mate has done or not done? Is it something he/she has said? Is it something you have done or some attitude you have? Is there some need that you have that is not being met in the relationship? Has a misunderstanding occurred? Are you blowing things out of proportion? Are your expectations about your relationship, your mate, or even yourself, "unrealistic"? What is the real reason for your unhappiness?

Asking yourself questions like these can help you come to a conclusion as to the real reason for your unhappiness. Also, try to keep in mind that even the best of relationships hit "bumps" in the road sometimes. We all experience good days and bad days. This is true for relationships just as it is for every other area of life. So don't expect every day to be perfect. Just because a couple of days don't go the way you would like for them to, doesn't mean that everything is falling apart. That's just the way life is sometimes. Make sure your expectations are "realistic".

The Second Thing to Do

Once you figure out the reason for your unhappiness, the next step is to take action to remedy the situation. This might involve things like having a heart to heart talk with your loved one and explaining to them how you feel. It might involve changing how you perceive things or changing your attitude about them. If you feel like a need is not being met, then letting your mate know about it could turn everything around. Sometimes people don't know that we are hurting, let alone why, until we tell them. When we tell them, most of the time, they are more than willing to meet us at our point of need.

The Third Thing

This could easily be the first or second thing to do because it is one of the most vital steps to consider. Here it is. "You must make sure that you are totally committed to making this relationship work". Anything less than a total commitment on your part is worse than doing nothing at all. Putting in a half hearted effort is not an option here. There might be times when you feel that your loved one is not doing their part, that they are not as committed as you are. You cannot control what others do and feel but you can control what you do. Being totally committed, no matter what happens, can help you to get through the tough times.

Number Four

Give it time to work. Be patient. Great relationships are not created overnight. They take time and effort. And the people who enjoy these kinds of relationships have put in the time and effort to create them. They are the people who do the little things everyday to create the relationships they dream about. And they do it consistently, making their relationships to their loved ones the most important thing in their lives.

A Final Word

Don't be afraid to seek professional counseling for your problems. There are many qualified therapists and counselors who can help you on your way. Sometimes it takes someone on the "outside looking in" to see what is at the heart of the situation. These qualified pros can often offer a quicker, more stable, and lasting solution than you can find on your own.

Above all remember, you alone have the power to create the kinds of relationships you desire in your life. All the good advice in the world won't change a thing until you decide to do something to make it happen.

Want to know more about creating incredible relationships and watch some great videos? Go to Fix Broken Relationship.

Read More

Mistakes Women Make in Relationships

They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results....

If you tend to repeat attitudes and behaviors in relationships, and yet you expect your new relationship to be different from the ones you had, it's time to stop.

Perform an honest analysis of your pattern behaviors and try to change them. Your desire to love and to be loved, combined with your emotional past, can determine you to make some repetitive mistakes in your relationship.

The fear of losing him, lack of knowledge, the woman's nature who tends to over accommodate the partner - all these things can determine behavioral mistakes.

Mistake no 1: The woman is wrong when she tries to change her partner.

At first, the woman is attracted by some obvious essential qualities, hoping that her feminine spells and intellectual prowess will help her change the rest of him.

HINT: If you want a cat, don't get a dog that you'll train to be a cat. Do not get in a relationship hoping that he will change. Most often this does not happen.

Learn to love or tolerate the aspects that you want to change in him. Have a very honest discussion with yourself and decide if what you love in him it's enough to help you get over the aspects that he, most likely, will never change.

HINT: Reproaches made, even though based in reality, will erode the romance and the passion. Gradually you will be in a love/hate relationship, addictive and hard to manage.

Mistake no 2: The woman is wrong when asking herself too early what's the direction of the relationship.

A relationship has its stages of development. The excessive need for security will determine the woman to desire for a rapid evolution of the relationship. Other reasons, unrelated to love, but to various other calculus, can make the woman to want too early a plan for the future.

HINT: Let the relationship blossom by itself, don't force him to make plans for the future too early in the relationship. When a woman has her own plan for her life, she no longer feels so dependent and doesn't need anymore for the man to make a plan.

Mistake no 3: The woman is wrong in a relationship when giving up on herself, on her passions, on her sources of vitality and richness.

The temptation is very strong to become totally absorbed in a relationship, especially in its beginnings. You are inclined to do everything with your partner, to give up your hobbies or friends in order to spend time with him.

HINT: Don't give up on your sources of joy even if, out of jealousy or desire of control, he will ask you to.

Often, a woman will tend to be fulfilled through her man. And men have this particular talent to induce the idea that it is the duty of their women to unconditionally support them.

You can either be a slave in his empire or a queen in your own kingdom. Any kind of independence - emotional, material, intellectual, is very seductive for your partner. Because independence means power, and power is the greatest aphrodisiac.

The pathological absorption in the other one has a weird power of seduction, giving the false illusion of security.

Mistake no 4: The woman is wrong in a relationship hoping and projecting in the future.

What does this mean? To hope that things will resolve by themselves. To hope that the future will bring a magical resolution to the couple's problems.

The hope that he will change by himself makes a woman to live in the future, ignoring the present dissatisfaction in the hope of future solutions.

What you can "hope" for is that time will bring anesthesia, indifference, that you will compensate for your unhappiness with other stimuli that bring you instant, short term pleasure. This is how overeating, drug dependency, affairs and other compensatory behaviors such as excessive shopping occurs.

HINT: An agonizing end is better than a never-ending agony. Draw the line, cut your losses and learn from your mistake.

It's always a negotiation of compromises, you just need to choose the smallest compromise you can live with.

Mistake no 5: The woman is wrong in a relationship when she lies to herself.

Fear of loneliness, fear of losing comfort or status, fear of change, are some of the reasons that determines the woman to lie to herself regarding the motives to remain in a relationship.

HINT: Do not fake orgasms, do not fake happiness, do not mime indifference. Because eventually you will fake your own destiny.

Sometimes, the differences between the two of you are too big. Even if you are compatible on some levels, there are other deep level communions that are missing.

Mistake no 6: The woman is wrong by criticizing his friends and his choices regarding social relationships.

It is impossible to agree with all his choices. Same time, to know how to communicate what bothers you is a true art.

HINT: You won't like all the time the same things, the same place, the same people. Similarities are the foundation of a relationship but the differences are the necessary spices to spark the passion.

Happiness is a personal duty, not the partner's. What your partner offers you is a different kind of happiness, another dimension of being, a richness of sensations, feelings and understandings, possible only through communion with another being.

As long as a woman has multiple sources of fulfillment and validation outside the relationship, she will continuously attract the admiration of her partner.

There are relationships formed on the basis of common fears, of complementary traumas, and relationships formed on the basis of mutual admiration, with he desire to share the happiness within, the fulfillment and the becoming of their destiny.

What kind of relationship are you in?

Sophie Rinaldi is a life coach and licensed counselor.

You can learn more about Sophie Rinaldi or have a session of online counseling through live chat at http://www.therapy-counseling.net

Sophie Rinaldi is an expert counselor and licensed therapist offering live advice through live chat or email sessions http://therapy-counseling.net/

Read More

The Opposite of Love Is Laziness

Stay in a very comfortable position and I want you to imagine this...

What if your mother is too lazy to wake up early in the morning to cook your bacon and serve your breakfast?

Much more, what if your mother was too lazy to breastfeed you when you were still a baby?

What if your father is too lazy to go to work to his office and earn a living?

Or how about he has work, but he is too lazy to open his wallet and give you your allowance for the day?

What if your brother is too lazy to study hard and finish his education knowing that the family's future lays in his hands?

What if your sister is too lazy to wash the dishes, cook some food, clean the house, wash clothes - even the hankies!?

What if your husband is too lazy to go and pick the children from school after class?

What if your wife is too lazy to kiss you good night?

What if your best friend is too lazy to go over your house and listen to you knowing that you just broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend that afternoon?

Or just your ordinary friend so lazy to give you a one correct answer - just one simple correct answer - during the exams.

What if your girlfriend is too lazy to come early and on time in your dates - 3 hours and 48 minutes late perhaps?

What if your boyfriend is too lazy to brush his teeth?

Friends, I still believe that laziness is the opposite of love. Some say, it's indifference, well yes, I still agree. But how do you show indifference?

Laziness.

Do this.

First, thank the significant persons in your life who does these simple things - waking up early, small sacrifices, all the cooking for you, waiting for you for hours, staying late at night when you are sick, going to friends just to borrow money when you need one, being patient every time you lose your patience and all other big extra effort - just to help you out. These are small things, but be thankful, at least you know that they still love you. And someone still loves you.

Second, always remember, that if you value a relationship and you really wanted to keep it - don't be lazy towards it.

Work on it.

Do the hard stuff.

Hanz Florentino is a motivational speaker, personal excellence coach, and a creative director who lives his life helping thousands to discover their passions and make money millions from it. Today he shares the secret to build great relationships. A Magna Cum Laude graduate of Psychology he now leads people to create an Excellence Blueprint in their Life, Career, Relationships, Business, Leadership, and Wealth. Know more about the Motivational Speaker Hanz Florentino here.

Read More